I remember now. My mother wanted me to know her. I closed my eyes, absorbed in myself. As I grew to adulthood, she wanted me to be her friend. I did not accept her outstretched hand. I did not see the gift she was handing to me.
My vision was clouded by my ignorance, and the veils I'd hung to filter out the light.
Near the end of her time here, our love broke through most of the barriers which we had constructed to keep us apart. And I could see her beauty. Our souls touched and flowed into each other for a few precious moments.
I grieved when she moved on. I longed for more time. I missed her.
She sent me messages that she was still alive. She came to me in dreams. I heard her voice. I misunderstood what this meant. She'd never left.
My mother remained in my heart. Firmly planted. It took me years to come to know this. That she saw me. That she was still with me. Walking in front of me, holding a candle to light my way. Shielding me. Guiding me. Encouraging my growth.
There is no life. There is no death. Only change and evolution.
We are only converted. We are reclaimed by the Maker who never lost us. We are never alone. Never separated. We are one.
Posted by Judi at November 8, 2004 11:28 PM | TrackBack