When I was young people "courted". Young people were expected to go out with several possible "mates" before ever making a commitment. Sexual intimacy was not expected until after marriage. When i look back on this, I can see this took away the pressure that young girls these days must experience.
I dated several boys as a teenager. Some who pursued me, and some who at the time I had wished would have pursued me more. With most of these boys I wore a mask, changing it at times to conform to impersonate the girl I presumed the young man wanted me to be. I was pretty careful not to be too relaxed about being myself. Of course once in a while, the me that was me would pop out and bring lie to my pretense.
There was only one boy in high school with whom I felt free to be myself. I liked him well enough, but there was something about him or the way we were together that prevented me from considering a future together. One time, after dating on and off for a few years, he did something that hurt me. He had regrets, but in a way his one time action freed me from the attachment. I never held anything against him after the initial hurt, but it was time to move on, and I was ready. I have thought of this old friend many times since then. I always hope he is well and truly happy. And I always wish him love and peace in his life. I hope somehow he receives this message.
I like to think about that. I know that The Indwelling Spirit of Love. exists within each of us, no matter what. But sometimes, as I walk upon this rocky path of life, I seem to forget the truth of that knowledge. Maybe if I write it here, one day I might look back at what I have written here and now, and remember what I knew way back when. God willing, I will do just that.
I hear the names of popular bands and am often distracted by what seems to be odd sounding names. Without listening to the music of these groups, I've wrongly concluded that I might not like their form of music. But, like most things I've judged without taking time to actually learn about, I later found that I was dead wrong. I credit Stephen Colbert for introducing me to Radiohead tonight.
These days, I've been recalling many times I've wrongly judged someone or something without really looking into it. There have been so many times when I didn't even admit to myself that I just didn't know. There have been so many times that I wasn't kind and wasn't my best self.
I have regrets, and have no way to undo what I did. I wish now that I could find a way to apologize to the people I've hurt. But since many of the incidents occurred 30, 40, or 50+ years ago, it would be hard.
I don't know where the people I believe I have hurt actually are these days, of if they are even still alive. I don't know if I even found them, if they would remember the incident, or if by bringing it up, whether it might cause further pain. I don't even know if the other people were actually hurt by what I did, or my own inner judge is just acting up.
No, I don't know if there is any way to rectify my unkind actions. All I know is that I wish I had always chosen love over fear, kindness over any sort of perceived need for self protection. All I know is that I wish I could say I had always chosen love and kindness over fear, humility over ego, but of course I cannot.
I guess all I can do now is to put these people in my heart, and wish them peace and love and happiness. I can resolve in the future to chose love and kindness and forgiveness. And, I can choose not to judge. Learning not to judge and how best to be kind is a lifelong quest. Doing our best to consistently work to become our highest vision of ourselves is a fine ideal, and one in which most of us, especially as we age, long to do.
Isn't it interesting how our human mind works?
One moment we might be thinking of a musical group
like Radiohead
and in the next we find ourselves reflecting
on our past actions and desires for the future.
Nothing in thus Universe is ever wasted!
See for yourself!
I hear the names of popular bands and am often distracted by what seems to be odd sounding names. Without listening to the music of these groups, I've wrongly concluded that I might not like their form of music. But, like most things I've judged without taking time to actually learn, I later found that I was dead wrong. I credit Stephen Colbert for introducing me to Radiohead.
These days I've been recalling times I've wrongly judged someone or something without really looking into it. So many times when I didn't even admit to myself that I just didn't know. So many times that I wasn't kind or wasn't my best self. I have regrets, and certainly have no way to undo what I did. I wish now that I could find a way to apologize to the people I've hurt. But since many of the incidents occurred 30, 40, or 50+ years ago it would be hard.
I don't know where these people are of if they are even still alive. I don't know that even if I found them, if they would remember the incident. Or if I were to bring it up, whether it might cause further pain. I don't even know if those people I think I may have harmed were actually hurt by what I did, or my own inner judge is just acting up.
No, I don't know if there is any way to rectify my actions. All I know is that I wish that I had always chosen love over fear, kindness over any sort of perceived need for self protection. All I know is that I wish I could say I had always chosen love and kindness and humility over ego, but of course I cannot. I didn't even then understand what humility meant. I am still learning this concept.
I guess that all I can do now, is to put these people in my heart and wish them peace and love and happiness. I can resolve in the future to chose love and kindness and forgiveness. And, I can choose not to judge. Learning not to judge and how best to be kind is a lifelong quest. Doing our best to consistanly work to become our highest vision of ourselves. This is a fine ideal, and one in which most of us, especially as we age, long to do.
Isn't it interesting how our human mind works. One moment we might be thinking of a musical group like Radiohead and in the next we find ourselves reflecting on our past actions and desires for the future. Nothing in thus Universe is ever wasted!
See for yourself!
Text Messaging is fun and fast. I've learned that even when one is in a place where a call can't get though, a text seems to go. Texting is a great tool. And few of us who have learned to use this tool want to go back to the days when we didn't have it. Nevertheless, one should always realize how easily what you text in a moment might be misconstrued by someone who reads it.
That's probably why they've come up with all kind of emotion thingamajigs. I don't know what you might think of these little additions, but when this Mom sees some of those "cutzy" little images that have been developed, she doesn't react with amusement. In fact she finds them rather annoying. I'm not really sure why they bother me so, but they do. I much prefer using words even if it takes more than one message to get the thought across.
Learning to text has been
a "time saver" and a "time stealer".
It can exersise your fingers too,
but doing too much of it
can make your wrists hurt
and cause you to experience
carpal tunnel syndrome.
Everything about our new little machines
can be quite addicting.
I've certainly found it so.
Within every new thing,
there are the pros and the cons.
That's just the way it is.
Nevertheless, most of us are not
going to be willing to give up our little new convienences.
Nor, are we likely to be going back
to simpler days,
even though most of us
might wish them back from time to time.
There are so many things that i wish i were better at, and one of them is punctuation. No doubt the previous sentence could use much better constuction. But, be that as it may, I write anyway --- often wishing I could better remember the rules (if I ever learned them correctly in the first place) or could instantly see alternate suggestions that could express the same thought better than I do.
The problem with striving for perfection in this (or in anything) is that the effort to be perfect in whatever one might attempt can be crippling. Perfectionists often get less done than those who simply do their best and accept their limitations.. That's not to say that we shouldn't try for excellence. Certainly we should. And, even though I am keenly aware that my efforts in this medium are far from perfect, and I wish I had the talent to communicate better, at least once in a while I find the courage to hit "publish" button anyway -- as I intend to do with this little post.
Maybe if I knew that The National Punctuation Day website existed before this, more of the unpublished posts I have written would have actually appeared.
Just as Spellcheck can actually be a great learning tool and make the user a better speller, so could a really good punctuation tool help anyone write more clearly and convincingly. The trouble that learning anything new or developing better competency in any effort takes time. But it is worth it. Learning is fun. Learning anything new or learning to do anything better is good for the brain.
As of midnight last night, DADT is over. Finally, more people in the military will be able to be honest about who they are.
Like many around the world and in this country, my feelings and beliefs about sexual orientation have evolved in many ways. Little did I know that there must have been a number of people all around me who didn't feel safe about revealing essential aspects of themselves. Most had to hide who they were from almost everybody. Not only did they have to conceal so much of themselves, but they must have lived with a constant fear that they would be "outed" by someone else.
It's not that getting rid of DADT will make everything better, but it is a step forward in extending civil rights to a distinct minority of our citizens. I have no illusions that the fight is over. There is still is a lot of bigotry out there. Unfortunately few of us are completely free of this terrible aspect. We all must be alert and search our hearts to see how we must change.
I have a fear that the "churches of hate" around our country and around the world who have been so vocal about this subject will now move into a higher gear and increase their rhetoric to condemn what they consider as deviant behavior. They are very good at inducing fear in people about the "other". It always seems so sad to me that so many churches preach about an "other" who is to blame for every ill and catastropy. There is always an enemy in their book.
This makes me sad because I believe with all my heart that there really is no Other. It isn't "us" or "them". It is "we". The truth is that We Are All One.
So tonight, while I am feeling so very glad about this small victory for equality, to combat my fear, I am drawing an ever increasing and welcoming Circle of Light within my heart. This is circle of inclusion. The borders of my circle are flexible and pliable, and not so completely solid as to keep anyone out. Everyone is In. Even those who violently disagree with me and my opinions are not out. In my circle, All are In the Light.
My grandfather and my grandmother
had been betrothed by their families
when they were very young.
(I heard that they were children when it was arranged.)
They traveled to the US together
when they were only 16 years old.
The next year they were married
and began their family soon after.
I'm pretty sure that my Mom was born
when they were just 18 years old.
I know that after arriving in this country (via Canada),
they both worked
and somehow saved enough money
to bring my grandmother's mother
(my great-grandmother),
and my grandmother's ten siblings to the US.
(NOTE: this note is written on April 8th, 2015 about 2:00 PM, because though there is more to this story, but i'm publishing it now, unfinished, because today I'm publishing almost everything i never published before. Cause I feel like it.)
Out of many, we are one!
One thing I believe more firmly than almost anything else is that everything that is, is connected. In truth, we are not separate from anyone else. Whether we like it not, no matter what appearances might seem to be, there is no us and them. It is We.
As a nation, As a people, As part of the Human Race, to move forward, we must work together to do what needs to be done.
No matter how much we disagree, we still must pull together to accomplish the great tasks ahead. We are not separate from one another, nor are we separate from the universe. All is truly One.
If a child in Somalia dies from hunger, we are all affected, even though we may not see the connection at the time. If a star goes Super Nova, I have no doubt that there is an affect everywhere, even if the affect is so subtle that we cannot perceive it with our limited human understanding.
There can be peace. There can be harmony. We don't have to get caught up in the drama and the controversies. In oneness, we can accomplish anything. Lets do it..