Dreaming of boxes and politics
It had been bothering me all day – lurking on the edges of my consciousness. – bits of a dream that disappeared when I woke – but not quite.
There was an image of the insides of a small flat box – slightly rectangular in shape - hanging out. Kind of like a computer chip with those tiny telltale dots and squares in an odd and unsymmetrical pattern – like the ones Pete used to keep as samples in his desk drawer.
Why did my mind’s eye keep flashing on the almost imperceptible image that made me feel slightly anxious?
Nothing fell into place, a long time later - as I finished nuking all the heating pads I use each night to relax the spasming muscles in order to dissipate the pain. Just then – in that moment – I realized what it was. Why did it trouble me so?
It was the part of my cordless mouse which plugs into my laptop – its insides all exposed and strung out - which was damaged the night before when the whole thing slipped off my lap.
The mouse can be replaced, and I had another one which is not so efficient but which could be used. And was.
But this little inanimate object - this poor broken little inanimate piece of machinery which will be thrown away with the rest of the trash when its replacement arrives – represented more.
It represented that part of me, which was broken – the part of me, which has been exposed…. And the old fear – the one that always reemerges with every attempt to let myself be seen in order to connect with another.
That old risk – that some of us are willing to take in order to find a friend. The knowledge that our openness could later be used as a weapon to be hurled against us when things go wrong.
Our honesty - which people say is a virtue - but nevertheless can hurt us - if we are not careful.
How is this connected to the latest story about some sort of feud between two contenders for the crown … which every shill and barker think will bring them a few more viewers.
Shameless tactics of diversion to once again defocus us from the real issues of the day! Not unexpected, but nonetheless disconcerting - as the public, once again, draws a veil over its eyes. It makes me weep.
Tonight marks a first. This is the only time we have ever spent an entire evening watching the Oscar telecast. Well, we missed the beginning, but once we turned it on, we were hooked.
Lately … having been somewhat incapacitated, I have done away with one of my long-standing taboos, and started watching some Daytime TV.
At 3:00 PM, I might turn on the TV to watch Oprah. Generally, if she is featuring a movie celebrity, the TV gets turned back off, and I wait till 4:00 PM when The Ellen Show comes on.
Ellen’s sense of humor tickles my funny bone, and can make me erupt into laughter. Because she was to be the host, I thought that The Oscars might loose some of its normal self-congratulatory pomposity and might actually be entertaining.
Tonight, the Academy completely thumbed their collective noses at the narrow-minded and bigoted people whom they have tried not to offend in the past. For once, the producers refused to even try to coddle the sensibilities of the Religious Right in this country.
I only saw the two of the nominated films, neither of which I could imagine to have been considered the ‘best’ of anything. But the chance of viewing Ellen hosting the show caused me to change my normal viewing habits. And, even though we do not have DirecTV or a Tivo connected downstairs, we actually watched the broadcast … commercials and all.
All I can say is that the Oscars have come a long way! The beautifully staged and produced show moved along at a rapid pace and riveted our attention almost to the very end. The very end was a bit disappointing, not because of the ‘best picture’ choice, but because the usual self-congratulatory manner reemerged with many of the usual suspects patting themselves on their collective backs.
The producers tonight have accomplished one of the main purposes of the awards in producing this year’s show. I think that the telecast will result in causing more people to see the films that were nominated, which in turn will be good for the economy.
Ellen was terrific! And if ABC were to broadcast a repeat, I would watch it again. Tomorrow she will appear on Oprah and will host her own show live. Right now, I am signing off to make sure the Tivo is set to capture both shows.
In between the promos for yet one more story about Anna Nicole Smith or Brittany Spears, there is other news.
Our esteemed Governor, The Arnold, is doing his best to relieve our overcrowded prisons by shipping an increasing number of California inmates to private prisons in other States.
The Prison Industry presents a real growth opportunity for investors. This multi-faceted industry is expanding its profit margin steadily.
The industry benefits from a burgeoning population of citizens who have been convicted of committing crimes or have broken parole regulations.
It's yearly growth has been supplemented by incarcerating an increasing number of detainees accused of being enemy combatants, as well as a large number of undocumented aliens caught after illegally crossing or attempting to cross our borders in order to infiltrate the US by snatching up the lowest paying and the least desirable jobs in our country.
One of the Wonders of Capitalism Run Wild.
Ready to buy some stock?
I think there is something neat about devoting a whole day to celebrate Love in all its manifest forms.
There are many people who pooh-pooh this day as a holiday that was manufactured by greeting card, confectionary and floral companies. Well, there is no arguing that Saint Valentine’s Day is good for business. Saint Valentine’s Day is good for the restaurant and clothing industries as well. Just think of all the red dresses, shirts and shoes that people buy to wear on this day!
But still, in its purest form, a day devoted to love and union is pretty cool. Some people believe that the day was an invention of the industries mentioned above. Some historians point to the fertility feast days of Ancient Rome. I don't agree with any of this speculation. The celebration of "love" predated any of these industries or the celebrations of the Ancient Greeks or Romans.
This was just one of the many celebrations and feasts devoted to the God, or more precisely, the Goddess of Love, desire, sexuality, and fertility. The Great Mother (and Father) ... The Creator Gods from which all Life has sprung.
After all, without love, desire, sexuality and fertility the race would have died out long ago. The strongest instincts of mankind or any animal is to survive and procreate. Or … more precisely, to survive though procreation.
I may have mentioned in an earlier post about the surprise I felt the time Pete and I went to the Los Angeles Museum of Art to see an exhibition of Buddhist Art. I was expecting to see paintings, photos and statuary of the different manifestations and incarnations of The Great Buddha. There were, of course, some of the above. But the majority of the exhibits actually featured the male god and the female god in coitus.
It is the union, of course, that gives life. And it is life and the union that brings it about which we celebrate on this day.
To Life!
"I honor the place in you in which the entire Universe dwells, I honor the place in you which is of Love, of Truth, of Light and of Peace, When you are in that place in you, and I am in that place in me, we are One."
So, a little while ago I turned on the TV and discovered that the Laker/Wizard game was just beginning. Channel 9, here in LA, is broadcasting the game which is being played in DC tonight. After yesterday's game between our Lakers and the Indiana Pacers, I considered the faint possibility that I could actually jinx the contest.
I really wanted to watch the game, and in the few minutes I watched, the Lakers took the lead. But then Washington started to score. I clicked away to see what else was on TV and then brought my laptop over to take my mind away from the game.
Yet, like a curious child who fears doing something that may be forbidden, but is never the less drawn to explore her limits, I started changing channels to peek at the game. So far, the Lakers have the lead, but the Washington Wizards are not too far behind.
Tonight, the Lakers are again wearing their blue uniforms and this is another away game. The Wizards are wearing the brighter white. In the last few minutes the Lakers have increased their lead. It is now 100 to 86 and the Wizards have just scored. The Laker lead is dwindling. Eek!
I am stubbornly watching the game. Please don't hate me.
When I started watching the Laker/Pacer game tonight, I Remembered Matt’s admonition not to even go near the television set during the broadcast of any important game of one of his favorite teams. (You see, I have this 'color theory'.)
But, while channel surfing tonight, I used the excuse that there really is no such thing as a 'jinx', to linger for a few moments on the exciting game.
At the first glance, I thought “Oh, Oh”! Our hometown team was wearing the wrong color uniform to win! (Tonight, the Lakers were wearing Blue, and the Pacers were wearing the brighter White.) Not only that, but the game was an away game and was being played in Indiana. In my book, this can be a terrible combination.
Nevertheless, I stubbornly continued to watch the game, recalling a time earlier in my life when I was a great basketball fan. And ... I didn't know if this was an important game or not. I cheered when the Lakers got the lead, and firmly rejected the thought that I could possibly affect the outcome of any sporting event by simply watching it!
Sadly, the Pacers recovered the lead and won the game. So, once again, I have been forced to consider the possibility that jinxes do exist!
This coming Sunday is Super-Bowl Sunday. The Bears will be battling the Colts.
I promise you, Matt, I will do my best not to even go near the TV during that game!!!
I haven't really liked watching football after leaving Valley Junior College. That was the last time I actually knew and was friends with any of the guys on the team.
While at UCLA, the only game I remember attending was the Rose Bowl game in 1962. The only reason I attended that game was because, as a student, I could get tickets and my boyfriend wanted to go.
In 1962, UCLA played Minnesota at the Rose Bowl in Pasadena. UCLA lost.
I will have to be creative in figuring out what to do this Sunday, since Pete will probably want to watch the match. I don’t like Super Bowl Sunday anyway! It has been an unlucky day for me for more than twenty years. But that is another story.