Mom On the Alert

Looking at the past

When I was young people "courted". Young people were expected to go out with several possible "mates" before ever making a commitment. Sexual intimacy was not expected until after marriage. When i look back on this, I can see this took away the pressure that young girls these days must experience.

I dated several boys as a teenager. Some who pursued me, and some who at the time I had wished would have pursued me more. With most of these boys I wore a mask, changing it at times to conform to impersonate the girl I presumed the young man wanted me to be. I was pretty careful not to be too relaxed about being myself. Of course once in a while, the me that was me would pop out and bring lie to my pretense.

There was only one boy in high school with whom I felt free to be myself. I liked him well enough, but there was something about him or the way we were together that prevented me from considering a future together. One time, after dating on and off for a few years, he did something that hurt me. He had regrets, but in a way his one time action freed me from the attachment. I never held anything against him after the initial hurt, but it was time to move on, and I was ready. I have thought of this old friend many times since then. I always hope he is well and truly happy. And I always wish him love and peace in his life. I hope somehow he receives this message.