When I let my ego-mind take over,
I no longer listen.
Scattered, it's hard to hold on to one thought at a time.
I talk too much, too rapidly.
I utter inane words, jumping from one topic to another,
No doubt, bewildering and exhausting to the listener.
No longer in the present,
I do not focus.
My body is in constant motion.
A nervous ball of energy
that, I suspect, drains rather than fills
those around me.
The still little voice within my heart is
drown out by the louder internal chatter of the mind.
I am lost in Maya.
The Loving Voice whispers,
'Slow Down.' 'Breath Deeply'
'Be still and in the present'
'Come Home to the One.'
The Ego refuses to listen
and continues to play.
I'm sorry.
Still, I am surrounded by love.
And, when Quiet starts to return
I can look at my behavior.
I cringe with embarrassment and shame.
I've used up precious moments.
Dancing in the unreal.
I've taken advantage
of other's loving natures
for my own means.
I have forgotten the basics.
Forgive me.
Today I will begin again.
I'll take time to be still
And come home to the heart.
Maybe then, I can just "Shut up, and Listen".
.........
Last night at meditation,
thoughts slowed for a while.
I was sorry when it was time to end.
Because for a moment,
Stillness came.
And, She sat.
One with the universe.
Right hand touching the ground.
The other up and open, in the gesture of giving.
The sacred mantra,
the universal sound of God,
filling her heart.
More to go.