I am addicted! My son, Michael, is responsible. After all, it is he who first got us hooked up to the internet. He set us up with a modem, and saw that we were connected via AOL, before he went overseas for a long work assignment in Hong Kong.
He wanted us to be able to keep in touch, without worrying about the time difference and the cost of long distance calls to such a far away place.
That was nice. He is a good son.
However, I don't think he ever thought it would come to this. I am quite sure that he never thought that his mother, who before this time wouldn't even touch a computer, would at some time in the future hear this infernal machine calling to her day and night. But, it is his fault never-the-less.
So, he shouldn't be surprised when he gets a call from me in the middle of anything asking for HELP!
Yesterday morning, before I had done anything other than drink a cup of coffee and read a bit of the newspaper, the Monster called. I thought: "What would it hurt to just check my messages?" I did.
As I looked at neglected e-mail messages and forwards received from friends and relatives, something happened. I think I must have downloaded a nasty little "bug". All of a sudden all kinds of strange things started happening. I could not disconnect from AOL. Things started changing on my desktop.
I tried to run the Norton's, but nothing happened when I hit the button. Next, I restarted the computer in the belief that most problems can be solved by just turning it off and back on. This usually works. I think that even machines need a rest now and then!
When this piece of technology restarted, the icon for the Norton's Auto-Protect program was GONE! It no longer sat on the toolbar at the bottom of my screen! I looked for it. And the search feature came up with a list of twenty-seven possibilities. I found one that said: Live Update. I hit that one and did the live update. Then I turned off the computer again, with the hope that when it was turned back on, the Norton's Icon would be back where it belongs, and all would be right with my world.
The Icon was still missing. At this time, I developed a fear that a bad virus, or something even worse, a worm, had infected my computer. I don't exactly know what these things are, but I know that they are BAD!
I needed help. And I needed help now!
So, I called Mike at work. A man answered his phone telling me that I had reached Mike's phone. I told him: "This is Mike's Mom. Is he around?" Usually the person who answers Mike's phone knows where he is, connects me or actually tells me where he is and takes a message. This option was not offered. Instead, the man said: "He hasn't come in this morning." I asked: "Has he called to say he would not be in?" The man replied: "I haven't heard anything about that.'' I hung up.
OK. This concerned me, and at this point, Mom Alerts started to sound off. I am a mother after all. So, of course, I went about trying to find out what had happened to my first born son. I called his home. No one answered. I did not leave a message.
I considered that Mike might simply be offsite at a meeting, and also considered whether I had a right to possibly interrupt an important business gathering. I decided that since he was actually responsible for my dilemma, I had the right to call his cell and check.
Mike answered. Relief! He said he could talk. I told him what had happened. He calmly instructed me what to do. I followed his instructions. I was able to run a scan. I had to do it three times as new problems continued to be discovered my detective. Finally, the computer appeared to be fixed. I hit the restart button. The missing Icon was back. Halleluiah!
A few hours later, I forced myself to get up and eat breakfast. I then forced myself to make the bed and take a shower. I took one more peek, because I kept hearing the monster calling. I am under a spell.
Finally, I forced myself away one more time. I went outside. I looked at the sky. I took a walk around the neighborhood. And, tried to appreciate the blue, the green, the flowers, and the cool air. But, I was not truly in the moment. My mind kept swirling with thoughts about how I could best express my thoughts about what I was seeing. I am in the control of a beast. I might as well give this thing a name. And, start to figure how to control it before it completely takes over.
Later, Mike called to see if everything was OK. I told him that it was. As I said, he is a good son. But, he is an enabler. This morning, before I had really connected to reality, he called. He told me to link to The Onion and find the article: Mom Finds Out About Blog. I did.
I have not yet eaten breakfast. I have not showered. I am not dressed. As I said, I am under the control of a Monster. I think that maybe both of my precious boys have been taken over too! Maybe I need to call an exorcist.