Someone I know is going through a difficult experience these days. She is in mourning. She is mourning the loss of someone who was truly a "sister" is every way but blood. She is grieving the loss of a friendship. Her friend has moved away from what we call reality.
My friend sent me some words her "sister" had written before she went away. This is what she wrote:
'On Oprah today she asked the question "what do you know for sure?"
"I know that we are all connected by the heart. Also, out of all change comes more change, and that somehow we come out of the change for the better. And, we still get to choose and change again if we want. Nothing is permanent except love!"
When my friend discovered the words that had been sent by her treasured "sister", she was comforted. At least a little.
Posted by Judi at November 11, 2003 5:35 PM | TrackBackMy friend used to talk to me about the tears. When our hearts are so full, the tears come. What looks like sadness is really just the Love. So many try to hold it back or make it stop for ourselves or someone who is crying. "Don't cry, it'll be OK." For me, it always comes back to the Love. And yes... the Love still remains.
My heart is touched and all I can say is Thank You.
Posted by: GG at November 11, 2003 6:45 PMOne year ago, my husband admitted to me that he was emotionally close to my good friend. Since then my husband and I have gone for counseling and am a much better place in our marriage, but I miss my friend, that he was emotionally close to.
We can no longer see them as couples, she is married too, but she talked with him many days, on a one to one relationship without her husband, and thought she was helping him spiritially, but over stepped the marriage boundaries, and didn't tell me what they were talking about.
I miss her, but could never be friends with her the way I was before my husband's closeness. She is a nearby neighbor and I see her house everyday and think about her. I have just recently sent her a B'Day card, to let her know I was thinking about her, and she wrote me a note to let me know that my card was a great gift to her. I wrote her an e-mail to tell her I miss her but that my husband and I don't like to talk about her.
What would you do? Thanks
Posted by: jay at December 18, 2003 10:37 AMThat's a hard one. It is too bad they haven't shared fully what happened. The uncertainty is the mind-blower. Better to have known nothing.
Now that you know something about this, real open honestly would help to let you sort it all out. Then, you could make informed decisions about how to proceed.
Once trust has been damaged it is hard to rebuild. I guess it can be done. Only with honesty can one begin.
I would probably feel the same as you. You must feel a sense of betrayal. I think that would be hard to get passed, without understanding what exactly happened. I'm sure many do, but it would be hard.
Posted by: Mom at December 18, 2003 11:29 AM